My First Update

Hi everyone,

It’s been a little over a week since I started eating better again, and working out. I’m happy to report that as of this morning I’m down seven pounds! The Fitbit has been an amazing tool keeping me on track with everything. I had a bit of a slow start, and I went over calories a few days but since then I’ve been doing so much better. I still have the occasional craving for fast food or restaurants. I don’t deprive myself of what I want, but I track everything and take responsibility for all of it. I’ve cut way down on drinking anything but water, except for my coffee, and every once in a while some tea. Neither or which are bad. I even had Starbucks last weekend and I made it a point to order my peppermint mocha “skinny” with no whip. That was a huge step for me.

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In fact, I’ve been having trouble getting enough calories in my day compared to calories burned. I’m definitely eating, and even incorporated snacks into the mix. The only time I come close to being in the green is if I get junk food, which is fine every so often, but I don’t want it a good portion of the time since I started with the healthier eating. I find myself looking for healthier options when I’m out as well. This afternoon, Kyle wanted to go to Applebees for lunch, we stopped there before hitting the grocery store. We decided on the 2 for $20 deal, and he ordered my favorite dish, the fiesta lime chicken. I thought long and hard about it, and I almost ordered it myself, but I really didn’t want my lunch to be over 1310 calories. I opted for one of their new lighter items, it was a cedar grilled chicken meal served with apple relish and rice with quinoa, cranberries, and candied pecans. It was delicious! And came in at 560 calories for the whole meal. I even had some of the spinach and artichoke dip, just a few to get the taste but didn’t stuff myself before my meal got there.

I’m feeling much better about myself, and I’ve even hit all of my goals through the Fitbit website for the past three days now. I’m excited to keep going and see where I fall next week.

How do you keep track of your diet and fitness goals each day? Sound off below, I would love to hear from you. πŸ™‚

New Year, New Goals!

Change

I’m a few days late for the new year, but I’m starting my resolution tomorrow. I don’t even want to call it a resolution, those never seem to make it, so lets just call it my new goals. I am pulling all the stops. I purchased a fitbit one today, to help me stay on track, not only with my calories, but my steps, and my sleep schedule. I will be making a full weeks grocery list for tomorrow. Although I did stop at the store tonight for some eggs, baby spinach, spring greens, and chicken to make a nice salad for lunch before I shop. I also pulled out my workout clothes and set them out for the morning and I am going to the gym. I’ve gone once with my best friend on New Years Eve, but I haven’t been to MY gym in far too long.

In the last few months as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve fallen off the wagon. And in falling off, I made things worse by feeling guilty and using food as a crutch. I know that I’m an emotional eater, and while I’ve never been diagnosed, I’ve taken many self assessments that point towards a food addiction. I guess I’ll find out that when I am able to go to the doctor at the end of this month. Either way, I let myself go, and I’m tired of the way I feel. I’m the only one that can change it, so it’s time to make a change. Hopefully with the effort I’m putting in, I can keep things going and when I finally see the doctor, he can recommend some things to help stick with it and cope with the issues I have.

Tomorrow is a new day, and it’s the first day of this healthy journey, I may stumble but I refuse to fall again. I’m tired of starting over, so it’s time to stop quitting. Everyday may be a battle, but it’s a battle I’m going to have to fight. As long as I can keep my head up and motivate myself, it will be a fight that I WILL WIN! Small goals and daily motivation, with these two things I’m sure I will start on a better path to healthy habits.

Sometimes You Need Be Accountable For Yourself.

I am Enough

Hi everyone,

I know it’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything in here. I’d like to say I’ve been doing great and keeping healthy, but it’s just not the case. The truth is, I haven’t been eating well, and I haven’t been getting exercise. I’ve gained a lot of my weight back. That’s part of the reasoning for not being on here. I’ve been using food as a crutch, to deal with the issues I’ve had. I was ashamed of gaining, and of making choices I knew weren’t good for me. I’ve finally realized that ignoring accountability, and avoiding my blog isn’t going to fix anything. I have no reason to be ashamed. I fell off the wagon, I made bad food choices, I didn’t go to the gym, whatever the case was it’s time to get over it and push past it and move on to a new day. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes it takes longer to fix than others. What is a journey without hills, and curves. The trials and tribulations make for a real accomplishment. If it were easy everyone would succeed. I haven’t failed because I’m picking myself back up. Starting tomorrow it’s a whole new day and it’s one that I will make however I choose. It’s time to run after that wagon and grab on for dear life.

Making the decision to get back on here took some time and soul searching. I had a reason for every bad decision I made. They made sense at the time, I knew I was reasoning but at that moment I wanted to believe it. The problem with that is when the cold hard truth hits, the reasoning and the excuses fall short. You’re left to face it with no shield or weapon and it will knock you on your butt. Which is where I needed to be in order to find the answers to the questions I’d been avoiding. I’m even going to share the questions and answers with you.

Q: What happened? Why did I stop getting good food?

The excuse: We don’t have the money to buy the good stuff. There are four adults in the house and Kyle is the only one working right now. We have no choice but processed foods and junk.

The real answer: I got lazy, instead of getting fruits, vegetables and lean meats, I went for the pastas and hamburgers.

In truth healthy food is more expensive, but if you think about how much processed crap you eat in order to get full as opposed to the healthy real food you will save in volume and get more out of what you’re buying.

Q: Why did all the fast food start again?

The excuse: I have no time, I forgot to thaw something for dinner. I’m too tired.

The real answer: I was too lazy to get off my rear end and cook dinner. I may have forgotten to thaw something, but I have plenty of food to make, I just didn’t feel like it.

Fast food is convenient, even if it is bad for you, and as a food addict, once you’ve had it again you have a hell of a time stopping. Not to mention, if I didn’t waste money on fast food, I could have afforded better food from the grocery store.

Q: Why are you so unhappy?

The excuse: Because I’m too busy to do anything. I don’t have time for the gym or a car to get there while my brother is using it to get back and forth to work.

The real answer: Because I’m not happy with the way I’m living. I’m gaining weight because I’ve gotten comfortable with working all day and not getting up to do the things I need to accomplish to stay on top of this goal. I’m depressed and turning to food to solve it, but because I turned to food instead of addressing the problems, I get depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that only I can stop.

My brother is borrowing my car for eight hours a day, that leaves another sixteen that I could find for the gym. Or I could take my husband’s while he isn’t working. I’m gaining weight because when I’m not working I’m sitting on social media rationalizing that it’s to find or discuss work.

 

Now that I know the answers to the questions I can start to make changes. I hope you’ll come with me as I figure it out and continue on in my journey to find health and happiness πŸ™‚

Yard Work is Hard Work!

So over the last few weeks I’ve been hard at work on fixing up the house. With the weather getting warmer (finally!) I have been concentrating mostly on the outdoors.

We moved into this house in late October, when it was too late to do anything with the outdoors. The people here before us hadn’t done anything with the outside. In fact the flower garden was nothing but landscaper fabric and wooden posts to hold it down. There was a dead tree stump in the front yard and it hadn’t been edged in over a year. Now I can’t really say anything because the house I was living in before was terrible. My mom lost her sight and my dad was sick so the garden was over run, the grass was too long and there was stuff everywhere.

However, I am determined to make this house a nice beautiful place to call home. It’s especially important because my mom had to leave her old house instead of being able to fix it back up. (Probate issues, not that I would have let her stay, it was falling apart.) I told myself when we moved that I would make this a home for her, as well as myself, and it would be a comfortable place that she could enjoy.

We have managed to put some flowers in the garden, cut and edged the lawn, and fixed up two chairs for the porch so we can enjoy our coffee outdoors in the morning. πŸ™‚ I didn’t think to take before pictures but I have some during and after photos to share. These are just of the front, it’s still a work in progress.

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We’ll start with the chairs, they were metal folding chairs that we have had forever! They were a little worse for wear so I cleaned them up and spray painted them, now they make a nice place to sit on the porch.

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This was a very unsafe railing that was rusting and not sturdy enough to use for support. I removed it so my mom wouldn’t use that side for balance and end up hurt.

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In this bag is the tree stump that used to me in the front yard, it was completely dead so I was able to break it apart and dig it up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We’re not exactly sure what is growing here so we just left it to see what comes up. If it’s anything good it will be transplanted to the actual garden in the fall.

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Front view of our garden. The window boxes have sweetpeas in them. The garden itself consists of hostas, irises, lilies, and tulips.

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This is in the middle of edging the lawn. I had already done one side and was in the middle of working on the other but you can see the line of over growth on the edge of the sidewalk.

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The front of the house. You can’t even see where the tree stump was anymore.

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The garden from the porch.

Today we started in the back yard, due to some unforeseen issues we weren’t able to get everything from the house until the middle of winter. So everything was kind of just thrown in the garage in no particular order. Mainly to get it out of the elements. But today we drug everything out and put it back in nicely. There is still some minor clean up needed but it’s a major improvement!

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This wall wasn’t so bad but it still needed some help.

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I didn’t think to take a photo until a lot of it was already outside.

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As you can see it was an unorganized mess!

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With a LOT of garbage! We don’t even have kids yet, this was left, along with the box for the basement shower and the dry rotted garden hoses, from the previous owner.

It took a few hours and there is still work to be done but here is the after…

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My brother put the stuffed bear on the love seat, haha. But, as you can see it’s a vast improvement from having a couch in the middle of the floor!

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This green buffet is our next project! We will be stripping, staining and restoring it to its former glory! Then it will go in my kitchen for extra storage/coffee bar.

The best part of all of this is the fact that not only am I getting a GREAT tan!! I am also getting one heck of a workout! I’m wore out and sore by the end of the day from all of the pulling, pushing, squatting and moving that I’m doing. Plus, I’m doing it for longer than I would anything else and able to push past my mental barriers because it doesn’t feel like work, and once I’m started I can’t just stop in the middle, I have to finish! I’m thoroughly enjoying this, and I hope I can keep it up all spring and summer.

 

 

Here I Go Again!

Sorry I haven’t been around. My computer died, I had to wait for Kyle to order the part and fix it for me. Which if I haven’t already said before, my husband is a horrible procrastinator! So I’ve been without a computer for what seems like forever.

There’s not really anything to update, sadly I’ve been pretty boring lately. I’ve also fallen off the wagon. That’s not something I’m proud of but it happens. I’m slowly trying to get back on track, starting with making meals at home again. I went on a bit of a fast food bender… Luckily I have been balancing it out with getting up and moving so I don’t think I’ve gained too much back, I haven’t stepped on the scale lately either. I will be taking a break from this post and doing that here soon. And it’s firmly at 285, which is better than the 288 it was the last time I stepped on it but I could have done a lot better. All I can do is start todayΒ and try to do better from now on.

Other than that I have been doing a LOT of yard work for this house, as the first spring/summer here I want to make sure that I make it nice. I really want to make this house a home, not just a place to stay. I never did that in my apartment and my family never really did that in our house before. But I’m determined to make it a place I’m happy to be in and want to invite people over to see. Although, I will say that yard work has been one heck of a workout! I can barely move the next day from my muscles being sore, and there is something to do almost every day so I never get the chance to say I’m bored. It’s really coming along nicely, I have a lot of work to do still but on the bright side I’m getting a nice tan, and a good workout. Trust me I have the blisters to prove I’m working hard haha.

Well that’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll have some good weight loss news to share soon. And I wont be waiting almost two months for the next post! I have the computer back and it’s not so cold that I can’t sit in the basement if I needed.

 

 

A Little Workout Challenge

A friend of mine has been getting me into this fitness challenges on Facebook for a little while now. They’re usually 30 days and its usually a specific target area. This month starts the glute challenge, which to be honest looks scary! Haha. I know I can do it, I just need to remember my legs will feel like they are in a constant state of jello… In case you’d like to join here is the challenge.

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Like I said it’s scary. Especially if you’re not already physically fit, which im working on but not quote there.

In case you’re not sure what some of these are I’ve taken the time to get pictures of each of these exercises.

Squat

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Hip Thrust

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Bulgarian Split Squat

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One Leg Foot Elevated Bridge

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So that’s all the moves you need for this challenge. I hope you’ll join in and give it a shot πŸ™‚

Comment below and let me know if you’re in we can do it together!

At 1:30 in the Morning It’s Time For Some Random Babbling, Venting, and Some Good News Too.

Right now I should probably be asleep, but unfortunately I can’t seem to shut my brain off long enough to drift into those dream cycles.

Lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of stressful issues including my throat problem. That being said I received a notification from the ENT doctor staying that my biopsy results are in and I need to schedule an appointment to discuss my results. I’m really nervous about this. Not only because there was an option for everything was normal and we do not need to schedule a follow up appointment, which was not checked, but also because my dad had esophageal cancer. So now my mind is racing through all of the possibilities of what it could be. The worst part is that I don’t currently have health insurance and I can’t afford to pay for an office visit. So obviously that has been a huge factor in my stress level.

It doesn’t help that I lost my cousin last week. She battled cancer for five years and she just couldn’t fight anymore. She was an amazing person and I will miss her dearly. But she is the second person in the last two years to pass away from cancer. Besides that there is a history on both sides of my family, my dad passed away from cancer. As well as a lot of aunts, uncles, and my grandfather on my dad’s side… it just seems like it’s everywhere lately. And while I’m trying not to let my mind go there, it’s really hard not to.

Aside from that, Kyle finally received his unemployment benefits from his case last year so we were finally able to pay some of our bills down. When we get our taxes we will be able to pay some of them off the rest of the way which is a huge relief! So even though I have one new worry I can at least get rid of one that I’ve had for a while.

I had interviewed for a position with a company I used to work at a few weeks ago, right before everything went crazy… Well I haven’t been keeping up with my phone the way I probably should and missed a call last week for a second interview. I found out today when I finally got around to checking my voice mail.  I am going to attempt to call tomorrow but I’m not sure how far I’ll get.

I guess it doesn’t really matter because once my brother gets a job I will have to take him until he can get another car. I don’t mind doing it though, as long as he’s working. Plus we have some car repairs that we need to take care of so that will be happening this weekend.

I’ll end this post on a happier note though with some of my god news. I went for a little bit of shopping last weekend with my best friend Samantha, we tried on some clothes and I am happy to say that I am offocially in a 1X. Which may not seem like much but coming from a 3X this is huge for me.

If you’ve read my past posts I bought a few dresses over the winter in hopes that I could fit into them by spring. Well after my shopping trip I figured I would try them on since they were a 1X as well, and to my surprise they fit wonderfully! I will post pictures when it’s warm enough to wear them, but I didn’t really expect them to fit so well, they were skin tight when I bought them.

Hopefully I’ll be in need for some new summer clothes, I’ll let you know when I dig them out for the season! I just need to stay focused and keep going. I’ll get there. It may not always be the way I planned and it may take longer than I expect, I’ll fall off and get back up, but I will get to where I want to be someday πŸ™‚

Getting all of that of my chest really helped, I may be able to get some sleep now. Thanks for listening and  goodnight!