Sometimes You Need Be Accountable For Yourself.

I am Enough

Hi everyone,

I know it’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything in here. I’d like to say I’ve been doing great and keeping healthy, but it’s just not the case. The truth is, I haven’t been eating well, and I haven’t been getting exercise. I’ve gained a lot of my weight back. That’s part of the reasoning for not being on here. I’ve been using food as a crutch, to deal with the issues I’ve had. I was ashamed of gaining, and of making choices I knew weren’t good for me. I’ve finally realized that ignoring accountability, and avoiding my blog isn’t going to fix anything. I have no reason to be ashamed. I fell off the wagon, I made bad food choices, I didn’t go to the gym, whatever the case was it’s time to get over it and push past it and move on to a new day. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes it takes longer to fix than others. What is a journey without hills, and curves. The trials and tribulations make for a real accomplishment. If it were easy everyone would succeed. I haven’t failed because I’m picking myself back up. Starting tomorrow it’s a whole new day and it’s one that I will make however I choose. It’s time to run after that wagon and grab on for dear life.

Making the decision to get back on here took some time and soul searching. I had a reason for every bad decision I made. They made sense at the time, I knew I was reasoning but at that moment I wanted to believe it. The problem with that is when the cold hard truth hits, the reasoning and the excuses fall short. You’re left to face it with no shield or weapon and it will knock you on your butt. Which is where I needed to be in order to find the answers to the questions I’d been avoiding. I’m even going to share the questions and answers with you.

Q: What happened? Why did I stop getting good food?

The excuse: We don’t have the money to buy the good stuff. There are four adults in the house and Kyle is the only one working right now. We have no choice but processed foods and junk.

The real answer: I got lazy, instead of getting fruits, vegetables and lean meats, I went for the pastas and hamburgers.

In truth healthy food is more expensive, but if you think about how much processed crap you eat in order to get full as opposed to the healthy real food you will save in volume and get more out of what you’re buying.

Q: Why did all the fast food start again?

The excuse: I have no time, I forgot to thaw something for dinner. I’m too tired.

The real answer: I was too lazy to get off my rear end and cook dinner. I may have forgotten to thaw something, but I have plenty of food to make, I just didn’t feel like it.

Fast food is convenient, even if it is bad for you, and as a food addict, once you’ve had it again you have a hell of a time stopping. Not to mention, if I didn’t waste money on fast food, I could have afforded better food from the grocery store.

Q: Why are you so unhappy?

The excuse: Because I’m too busy to do anything. I don’t have time for the gym or a car to get there while my brother is using it to get back and forth to work.

The real answer: Because I’m not happy with the way I’m living. I’m gaining weight because I’ve gotten comfortable with working all day and not getting up to do the things I need to accomplish to stay on top of this goal. I’m depressed and turning to food to solve it, but because I turned to food instead of addressing the problems, I get depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that only I can stop.

My brother is borrowing my car for eight hours a day, that leaves another sixteen that I could find for the gym. Or I could take my husband’s while he isn’t working. I’m gaining weight because when I’m not working I’m sitting on social media rationalizing that it’s to find or discuss work.

 

Now that I know the answers to the questions I can start to make changes. I hope you’ll come with me as I figure it out and continue on in my journey to find health and happiness 🙂

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